I
spent last weekend, over four grueling days, at a workshop. I’m
trying to find the right words to express the heart of my experience.
Do you remember in elementary school a teacher who demonized one
student over the school year?
When
I was in the fourth grade my
teacher systematically dismantled me psychologically. She dragged me
from class into the hallway; thirty plus pairs of eyes watching with
everything from horror to secret glee. Yelling, shaking me, or finger
flying dangerously in my face I was castigated and shamed.
Her
voice arcing, just loud enough for the class, who I could feel were
on the edges of their seats and straining to listen, could
distinguish her criticisms of me. Only when I collapsed in tears
would she send me back into the room.
Thirty
pairs of eyes swung to the door to watch my re-entry. My face flaming
with embarrassment, choking on snot, the walk to my desk took
forever. Doing my best to swallow my sobs I put my desk top up,
tunneling my head in the desk interior. By the end of the school year
I was a wreck.
This
weekend I was back in the fourth grade being bullied by the teacher.
Wait! Didn’t the same thing happen to Cinderella?
Cinderella
was systematically broken down by her stepmother. Trapped, Cinderella
struggled not to absorb the wicked stepmother’s opinion of her.
This weekend I was trapped in the world of the seminar teacher. Like
Cinderella I was the object of disdain, doing my best to not to take
in the negative opinion of me. I hope you don’t need me to talk
about the specific ways and strategies used disenfranchise me from
the rest of the class. Too toxic!
How
did Cinderella keep herself sane walking the crazy terrain of the
wicked stepmother? She stayed connected to love. This is not the love
of hearts and flowers or violins playing in the background.
Cinderella made practical acts of love. They buffered the stress of
living with the wicked stepmother.
Cinderella
pours love into every task. She creates beauty and her efforts are
tied to a greater purpose. When she keeps her home beautiful she
honors her parent’s memory. This love also caught the eye of the
Fairy Godmother.
I
call these challenging times the Great Silence. The world seemingly
turns against us despite our best efforts. The Great Silence can last
days, months and even years. In Cinderella’s story who knows how
long the Great Silence lasted before the appearance of the Fairy
Godmother?
The
Great Silence can also happen when we define a goal and power tests
us. Are we worthy? Do we have the necessary skills and the required
spirit needed to pull our dream into temporal form?
Okay.
So where are we? Being beaten up by wicked stepmothers? It turns out
we are in good company. The antidote? Corny as it sounds, love. Bring
love to our tasks and dreams. Does love set us free? Maybe. We learn
endlessly evolving lessons. We mature our dreams beyond the Great
Silence to create our destinies. WHEW!
So
remember: When you find yourself trapped within the world of a wicked
stepmother think of Lena Dunham or Rumer Willis as your
Godmother! And, read The Way of The Fairy Godmother.