Transcendence in the Land of Midlife Dating
By Jennifer Morse, MS PhD
Why did I continue pursuing love? Love is the opportunity to begin again. Love holds the potential for the corrective experience. It is within the matrix of love we flourish. We have the opportunity to release the burdens of our past, to recommit to beauty, compassion and forgiveness. And maybe this time marriage will bring out our best. This time we won’t fail ourselves, our partner, our children and family. This time we won’t fail love.
The most moving and inspirational experience I had in midlife dating was watching Lily and Truck fall in love. Lily basked in Truck’s openness to her ministrations. He welcomed her tending. He allowed her sovereignty. While doggie necking they rolled across the living room amidst the clutter of Trucks toys Lily had spread throughout.
At the same time they were transported somewhere private and intense. They played in a place more beautiful than the travertine floor where they wrestled. Lily dominated Truck standing over him immersed in the folds of his neck, pulling and chewing. She took his lower jaw into her mouth and chewed. The room smelled of wet dog fur. Like dirty tennis shoes and corn chips.
Truck paid homage to Lily’s beauty by carrying the thick humidity of their love long after she left. Together they were relaxed and simultaneously poised and intent. In their concentration they met at the razors edge and danced on the rim bathed in awe never wavering in their attention and receptivity. Lost in play, lost in the communion of the beloved, they were transported together on the wild ride of Truck’s life.
What made it work? Together they stumbled though play and receptivity into the Great Mystery where they were drenched in chemistry and romance. Their sparks of attraction filled my home. Something delicious and tangible was in the atmosphere. Each afternoon their love grew cooking in moist fur and rambunctious play.
They taught me the beloved lives in the Great Mystery. The beloved flourishes in the ineffable transcendent garden of primordial and alchemical transformation, ignited in the fires of personal passion and chemistry. Play evolving into romance and enmeshed in flow, sparking with attraction. Truck and Lily lost themselves and found the beloved in one another.
Maybe this is the reason men in midlife want to have fun? Are they seeking the Great Mystery? Are they seeking the beloved through the revolving door of play? Through play will they arrive in a destination drenched in chemistry, alchemy and the elusive perfume of attraction?
What if I begin to look at men through the lens of this vulnerability and openness to fun and play? Can this become the circumference of our experience? Have I misinterpreted men’s desire for fun as superficial? Could fun be the revolving door to the Garden of Eden?
Jennifer Morse, MS PhD is the author of The Way of the Fairy Godmother. Combing the wisdom of fairytales with the tools of positive psychology The Way of the Fairy Godmother provides practical application within the easy to read narrative.
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Coming soon: Transcendence in the Land of Midlife Dating, is drawn from, the soon to be published book, Letters from the Land of Midlife Dating. Look for Letters from the Land of Midlife Dating on Amazon Kindle in August 2015