Do you ever feel unworthy? I have struggled with unworthiness much of my life. The antidote I use to keep unworthiness at a distance is positive goals. They are my glue. How do you glue your life together? In psychology the glue of life is called autobiographical coherence.
The other day I blogged about writing: my goal is to write a blend of action and mysticism that reaches into the reader’s life and inspires health and well-being. Think Paulo Coehlo's, book The Alchemist.
How does this dream play out in my life? Goals, yes positive goals, in manageable portions. But where do I find the seeds of autobiographical coherence? Wait! Are goals, my special version of goals, autobiographical coherence? Not everyone uses positive goals as their glue. But I do. Hhmmmm…..
I begin my search delineating each positive goal in my prayers as I went to sleep last night. Bill has the flu. He’s sleeping in the downstairs master. I’m alone in our room and lonely. Into the loneliness I began my prayers.
I pray all detrimental influences in my life be transmuted by God’s Supernatural Best. First things first, you have to get rid of the garbage that clutters your mind and heart. How do I write a mystical adventure story? I need to educate myself about mysticism. But have you ever tried to learn sailing by reading an instruction booklet?
Right! I’m going to have to practice mysticism. So much fun! Happily I’ve practiced mysticism for thirty years. Prayer, meditation, yoga, ceremony, shamanic journeys, acts of power, designing workshops for awakening the power of the four directions these have been my daily practices. These simple but powerful practices were all utilized in writing of Redemption’s Warrior.
I hope this next book will be more potent. And this is my prayer, help me Great Spirit. Permeate each written word with your transcendent function. Let each reader hear in the story the message most compelling for them. This is the magical purpose and meaning within your Supernatural Best.
I turn my prayers toward closing. I’ve asked the Divine to guide my journey writing a mystical adventure. Now I ask the sacred void at the center of creation, and the emptiness created by clearing out personal junk be filled with Divine Love, Will, Direction and Protection. Can you hear the yearning in these prayers? What does this have to do with autobiographical coherence?
Too often we try to muscle our way through our goals and forget to be open to the buoyant stillness, the sacred witness, spacious and infinitesimally small voice of booming truth. We forget to seek the divinity in the ordinary and in the most important moments of our life.
When I said Amen, the gas log in the fireplace burst into flame. Whoa! Positive goals mixed with prayer are a potent combination.
My life’s search has been for unity within the ordinary and boring and the sacred. My longing is bigger than the proverbial search for meaning. It is bigger than a quest for wisdom. I seek the conventional and divine woven together by a bridge of harmony and strength, wisdom and truth; reflected in my writing and life made manifest in beauty, wealth and well-being. As my life touches other’s lives so too will they be blessed. It’s huge.
Well, no wonder I feel unworthy! What does an ambition like this require? Vision and grit? Purification? Humility, fluid and unyielding? These sanctified goals are my teachers. They hold up reflections of my least appealing behaviors. Their fun house reflection questions, do you have the courage to look and clean up this mess? No, you cannot gather the tangle up and throw it all away. You must grasp the radiance and grace within these images as well.
What is your autobiographical coherence?